Good Questions
The evening of my grandma’s funeral, as we all gathered around food and each other, my sister Charity asked me something beautiful.
“What are you looking forward to right now?”
I love that question, I said, and I whipped out my phone to show her that it is now almost two full pages of countdown widgets before a single social media, podcast, or photo app. The countdowns tell me how many days until all kinds of things I’m looking forward to, like the day we leave for vacation and the day my youngest graduates from high school.
I had to pay for the countdown widgets, a teeny yearly subscription, but it was more than worth it because it always helps to know what you’re looking forward to. In some seasons, it helps more than others, but that’s another blog post.
I also loved Charity’s question because I love to do or see things differently.
Last year, I read a book by Simone Stolzoff that taught me a great replacement for what do you do? I love this because I’ve never particularly found my calling in day jobs, but I’m settled about other things. The new question lets me talk about those. I’m also fascinated by people who do love their jobs, and this question is a good opener for that.
“What do you like to do?”
It was also last year that I learned a fabulous question for we overthinkers about big ol’ life and all of its possibilities.
“What is the point of today?”
This question helps me when it’s Monday or a rough day or a day when I’m thinking too far ahead without clarity.
A writer named Annie Dillard famously wrote about this when she suggested it is in our simple decisions that we determine the end of our story. She said, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
Now when I’m tempted to wonder about one month from now, five years in the future, old age, or the next event, meal, or gift to buy, I ask myself Chris Guillebeau’s question instead and bring it all down to today.
My son John and I like to talk about people who are good at questions. We want to be like that because the right question has sometimes been the perfect trigger for us to suddenly know our own mind about a thing. It’s tricky business for some of us. There’s another good question for that, in fact.
“Why?”
Why helps a person know what they want (or don’t want). Which leads me to one of the best questions of all because it helps you move.
“Why not?”