Can’t Reply; at the Movies

ON THIS DAY, six years ago (March 14), my youngest son wrote a text that I wish to remember to the end of time. Jake was twelve and could not reach me by phone so he texted my mother. It was 1 p.m. on a Wednesday.

“My mom isn’t answering her phone,” he said. “Do you think she’s at the movies?”

Photo by something magical on Unsplash

Let’s break down all the things I feel about this text:

• HATE: Jake actually couldn’t reach me because I was in a meeting at work. I resist day jobs for many reasons, but I feel justified when I hate that they make me less present as a mother. (Although, maybe if I felt more called to the work? Or even liked it? That’s another post…)

• LOVE: He texted my mother when he couldn’t reach me, and she was there for him. God bless all of that.

• LOVE: Jake thought I could go to the movies at 1 pm on a school day, which is exactly what I want him to believe about adulthood.

If possible, please commemorate this day with me.

It’s not about the movies; it’s about choices. Make room for what you love. Surprise yourself. Be somewhere awesome when people can’t find you. Make choices the kid in you would respect.

If I was a realist, I would call this “I Could Have Been at the Movies What Was I Thinking” Day. I’m not a realist so I use the day to remember I CAN BE at the movies today if I so choose and for goodness sake insist upon it.

On this day six years ago, I learned I like the person my son believed me to be. Today, I want to be her.